As I mentioned before I had a blog before I started this one, so I've decided to post a few of the highlights from my old one for your reading pleasure of course :D
'I was shocked when I realised the recommended soup portion was only HALF A CAN. Ouch, my tummy rumbled just at the thought of only eating half a can but yet again I'm thinking this is just another one of many inaccuracies by which I have lived my life. Having had soup a few times now at the correct portion size, I find that I am adjusting better than I thought I would. '
'Waking at 7am - I know what you're thinking I'm crazy, who on earth gets up at 7am to exercise before work! Well I guess I do. I've been so busy the past couple of days in the evenings that I've resorted to getting up earlier to exercise! I know, pretty crazy. The best part is that I feel good at work because I know I've already exercised! I'm thinking of upping my exercise time but I think that means I would have to be awake in the 6-7 hour in the morning and I'm not sure I'm prepared for that.'
'Last night for the first time I was genuinely really hungry at about 9pm. Now I think it is mainly because I had to have my tea before 6pm because I was supposed to be going to a meeting. I then had to walk across town and back again (took about an hour). The meeting I was supposed to be going to was cancelled, which instead of being busy meant I was just sitting at home watching television and we all know what that leads too. I tried to put it off as long as possible but by 9pm I was too hungry to be ignored.
Before deciding to eat, I drank at least a bottle and half of water, as I thought I may just be thirsty but no I was still hungry. I decided to eat a small bowl of cereal. I felt guily as we all do when we snack or break from a usual pattern but I just keep telling myself that I was genuinely hungry. I think its key to listen to our bodies when they are telling us things like this. After I ate the cereal I felt much better and did not the feel the need to eat anymore food. '
'I had a Mr Kipling's Choc Chip bar today as my mid-morning snack and I've got to tell you that I was left seriously unsatisfied. What was the point in even eating it, I asked myself, after demolishing it in three bites!! Disastrous as I was still hungry! I had to eat my banana only an hour later. It makes me think that little treats like that are a waste of time. I'd rather go without! '
'Food I miss you :( . It's making me very sad seeing all my friends eat nice, lovely food! It's got so bad I've even started to plan my treats. For example, this Saturday I get a piece of lemon cake to eat that my house mate made. She is saving me a piece.
'The oddest thing that I've experienced since starting to lose weight is that when I look in the mirror I think I look fat. When I was bigger I never had that issue. I didn't look into the mirror and think gosh I'm rather big aren't i? I don't know whether its because I was subconsciously avoiding the fact that I had become so big or whether I genuinely didn't believe it but now it matters more to me how I look. I think everybody wants to see positive results when they work hard, which is why when you work this hard to lose weight you want to see the results.
I struggle everyday with the fact I don't think I look thin enough. I just reassure myself that in time it will go down and I will become thinner and thinner. I want to say that losing all this weight is just about health but its not. Some of it is vanity. I want to be thin and I hope I will get to a size where I'm more happy with my body. I don't think I've become obsessed and I try to talk about it a lot, so that I don't agonize over it. I think it would be very easy to become bottled up and put all my emotions into what I eat.
My food intake does not affect me as person. I must remember that.'
So that's insight into the crazy mind that I have :D